I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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