Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
