i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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