Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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