hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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