Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
