6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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