Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
