The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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