whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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