Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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