Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
