i permit you to call me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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