I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
