im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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