Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
