I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
