White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
