Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
