Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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