i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
