She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
