hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
