Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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