Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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