That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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