Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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