your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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