Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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