Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
