That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
