I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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