very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
