im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
wow bdsm is so cute
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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