I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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