Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize