Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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