I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
