i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Never joke about your clitoris.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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