I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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