I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
two words...techno handjob
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
