just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
