Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize