My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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