at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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