It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
