covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
