I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
