whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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