You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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