That's when you crack a 10am beer
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
