What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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