I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
