I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
His nipple licking is glorious
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