You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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