arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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