You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
