All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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