do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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