Your mouth is God's brothel.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
