the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
