i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
